Dreamwork:
Dreaming with Amon was quite stressful. It involved me and some of my siblings and somebody that I knew as a friend, somehow, but was a an addict that liked to use needles here. And another friend, a loose friend, that I haven’t talked to in about 30 years I think and I would not have done this for them.
The dream revolved around some strange employment where me and some of my siblings were employed at this place that employed us and then much older gentlemen (I didn’t see the female instructors I knew of there). It was like a school or educational place or something like that and none of the older people really liked us, but they were courteous. We weren’t straight up students but we weren’t instructors and the dream revolved around it being quitting time for the day and we had a very strict timetable to keep to get home. We couldn’t find our car to leave. That friend from 30 years ago had somehow moved at the car when we were in class or school and instead of remembering where he put it, he gave us general directions and said to call him and he would walk us through the rest of the way. But the rest of the way was full of walking through entire blocks of apartment building sized drug dens and the druggies (dream term) weren’t the worst things out there. I don’t know what those were.
It had a very sinister, (mentally) crazy vibe to the whole area, even if not seen. Having to transit through these spaces was really stressful and I don’t know how I didn’t wake up from it. These building reminded me a lot of cases like hospital wings and wards with large courtyards in the middle. The buildings were connected under and over the streets and instead of using the streets we would have to try to go through tunnels so we didn’t have to walk on the street or sidewalk.
We couldn’t find the car and we either didn’t have a phone or the phone said died and we had left them somewhere. So we ended up linking up with this needle friend, who I’m not friends with in real life at all, and this person starts guiding us through some of these sketchier places and because of their reputation as a resident, we aren’t killed or accosted. We know we’re walking around the space and the car some is somewhere nearby. Nobody knows where it is and it’s getting dark and we have to leave. Eventually, our needle friend gets three bus passes for us and then as soon as we have those passes we are on some sort of bus-train thing that has to transit through some of these buildings and can also use the street.
The bus drives through this courtyard for this gigantic building and in the courtyard are some “drug agents” who are training and practicing and the way they’re practicing is pretty comical. It’s almost like they’re being trained, but they’re not really being trained to be effective at all. It was somehow comical, yet I was still terrified through most of this dream and they didn’t provide any type of support for my fears.
This dream lasted quite a long time and I can still see some of the scenes in my head and still feel some of the feelings but by the time I were to articulate some of these scenarios in-depth, I would probably lose the rest. I think one of the more comical parts was when we are with our needle friend and she brings us up to this almost stadium seating bleachers and we’re about to go down the passage stadium seats sections and she just casually remarks this is where the illicit Walmart used to be. There were some pool noodles inside of a cardboard box that had been taped to stay in place and there were still shelves there but it was only like 25 x 6 ft or something like that. So I don’t know what Walmart was selling, the illicit Walmart, but it was at least pool noodles and the clear packing tape that held everything in place.
I can still see some of the sights and the fear is still in memory. Even after typing this up. I know it isn’t for deep analysis on my waking layer of consciousness. The time-frames for the things I recognized spanned very different eras of my life, from teenage years to post Iraq, to the last five years. I know this was done on purpose to make sure it wasn’t related in the regular sense (and Amon told me this). So, I will leave this here.
Freewrite:
Amon,
I’m supposed to write a letter to you about something. Seems a valid option. I hope I remember to ask for a response some time.
Like many of us to grew up hard and abused, I had a problem with self-sabotage when opportunities came my way I faced the feeling of unworthiness and over time came to achieve things I never thought I would emotionally psychologically magically etc. I did it without magic and still see success with and without using it.
I have largely saved off the self-destruction that comes too hard, abused kids when they’re self-destruction tendency returns and grows the higher one climbs.
My fear isn’t of losing my success. It was encouraged on one hand and thwarted on the other. Numerous times at different levels of the achievement being looked for.
and I’ve been told recently to wait again and stop worrying about it by an entity I trust. I don’t know that I’ve ever achieved anything I really wanted without actively going after it or parts of it. This puts me the position of not believing the entity I trust, while also trying to stifle that drive to go after that which I desire.
I could use your advice and wisdom, Amon. I thank you for the consideration.
Evocation 1 : The Reply
When you spoke a bit about being thwarted after being told or led to, why is that? Why would that be? To see if you would and you did. A little too well, I might say. Some of your methods were uncouth, but you were doing what you wanted to do after being told to – to gain what you already should have had, right?
Wrong. The timing was wrong and you should have known that you didn’t. You suspected once or twice, a few times but you trusted the judgment of those telling you what you wanted, because you felt the truth that you would have it and assumed the timing of their telling was accurate.
You were led by the nose, fed half to three quarter truths by entities you vaguely understood you couldn’t fully trust. That is what happened.
Did you earn it? Yes, mostly, almost completely, but not for the time frame with more to do that had to be accomplished elsewhere which made keeping that impossible. You would have been devastated for quite some time and likely would have quit magic for good or least ritualized and spirit magic.
And what of the future? You are still owed that. You will get that. Get the work done first that has to be done in specific places and let those working on your behalf honor their agreements and those of others to make the timing right.
He left.
I was actually really appreciative of Amon’s honesty and his willingness to show me specific instances that I can well remember where there were disagreements with other spirits but the work I had done was not for some of those spirit, right? And what is this? It’s a lifestyle that I want to lead that doesn’t involve working at a desk for the rest of my life. Arguably more work to be honest with you, but it’s more work that I would rather do instead of work that I kind of have to do to maintain a lifestyle that I don’t particularly want.
I live in a very good, very safe, middle class neighborhood with exceptional good schools because of the taxes that we pay. And houses that I would never have ever dreamed I would have been living around. I grew up really poor, really hard, we moved a lot due to eviction and these nice, somewhat manicured, neighborhoods really aren’t quite my thing. I prefer it a little bit grittier, but appreciate the safety. When you live near Baltimore you kind of have to make safety paramount. I mean it’s not just me I have my family to think about too and that’s largely why I’m doing this lifestyle that I am now being…very different…than my neighbors.
Amon wasn’t being harsh. He was being very truthful and I was very appreciative of that. He was saying this in a way that he knew I would remember things specific things – that had been said to me and he knew they had been said and he was bringing those back to remind me that of all the times that I have been told, ” hey yeah now’s the time – go for it” and I was. Only to have it kicked back and being shown that no this isn’t the time. It was a little game, this up and down roller coaster that happened largely when I was working on the behalf of a person that I’m no longer in contact with.
So, Thank You Amon. For your honesty , for your help, and for telling me truths in that forest of lies.
Amon showed me a ritual. Draw the sigil. Make the request. Use blood, ink, wax, etc… to spiral inwards or outwards on the sigil pressing it with intent. Inwards to draw near, outwards to disperse.
I drew inwards to help with conflict resolution. As my time in Maryland draws closer to an end, I’m trying to prevent disagreements from becoming open conflicts.
The video below is my demonstration of it.
This ends my week with Amon. Hail Amon!
