Foras: “You wrinkled your nose at ‘lost treasure’ and ‘good health’. You don’t seem those things, but maybe you should.”
Me: “Forgive me, but there is little ‘treasure’ I seek in the literal sense and long life doesn’t serve me if the dementia I’ve seen in 80+ takes hold. I’m one of the few that doesn’t see a long life with entities. Why would I want one if I’m unaware of unable?” (There was a nod here. And this is true – why would I want to prolong for bullshit?)
F: “You would/*may for your children.”
M: “I have one child, none contested. You’re delaying an answer.”
(He doesn’t have one. There is some very conditional potentials for this I’m not banking on. Too different from my current life, but would have been possible with the life I was told I would have by now and ‘paid’ for in my previous posts)
(He is nodding and accepting of my skepticism)
He was done at this point. When I reached out, he requested some Cedar incense. I certainly have this.
I’m not going to pretend to be really far along with my week’s work with Foras. Holidays have gotten in the way, I guess you could say. But there have been several things coming to mind that I’ve noticed repeated. One of these is that I’m noticing more that I don’t take enough time for myself and when I do, I feel guilty to some degree. Not, “this sinner needs to REPENT!” level of guilty, but I find myself looking for excuses or making sure that my “work” is done or that I’m not needed for anything at this moment before trying to enjoy myself. Anyone that’s aware of my (magical) working schedule would see this as status quo.
It’s not something they’re looking to break, but the past several weeks in this, they’ve been pushing me towards a slower pace. The problem I have with this is that I’m no where I want to be and likely won’t be for a decade or more. Is that all the more reason to relax a little? Or is that my typical impetus to do more?
(Foras has been really generous in his patience with me)
F: “And what should I do in another scenario? (what should I do instead) Probably nothing, but this isn’t that and I feel slighted.”
M: “I appreciate your patience, Lord Foras.”
F: “‘Lord’ Foras, I like that. But it isn’t necessary. You were going to (expand on the initial meditation section). I sort of tossed that out when I knew you wouldn’t be able to handle it this week. Tell me, how has this week been going?”
M: “Workbench is great. Work – not so much. I can only pretend that it doesn’t affect me for so long.”
F: “And they’ve noticed. You rightly show that you are in the middle of them and the conflict has taken a much more severe and dramatic turn this past week. Why?”
M: “She feels she’s fighting for a Just cause. He is largely just business oriented and when stressed, can act immaturely. She’s paranoid and can’t see things for less than she feels she should (in the end) and I can’t bring reason or strategy to her.”
F: “Should you?”
M: “Yes, in a sense. I am a friend, too, and she’s in over her head. She can’t (see straight)-“
F: “But should you?”
M: “I’m not willing to fabricate or embellish, so yes, I need to bare witness to the events. I’m hoping she will find a better suited manager for her (in another position), rather than her getting poisoned out of the organization.”
F: “But should you?”
M: “Yes. I won’t stop helping someone trying to do the right thing like this simply because it’s hard, inconvenient, or cast a shade on me. She hasn’t done anything wrong. Her interpretations are her own and I would like to be supported in a similar scenario.”
F: “That’s you answer for now. We are done for today.”
F: “We are back.”
M: “We are.”
F: “The meeting the other day (30NOV24) didn’t quite go as (you) planned.”
M: “It didn’t and I don’t know that she picked up on all of it. She had a witness, he had a witness. Both of us have good reputations.”
F: “He knows he can’t quite do that to her (push her out) without drawing attention he doesn’t want. How will you proceed?”
M: “Continue to be supportive and help keep her from freaking out over every little thing like she tends to do.”
F: “Why were you not concerned when he brought up how much time you have left (in your current role?”
M: “Because he was also telling me I will likely last that long . He may have also been saying that the quarrel is between them. If he was trying to give me a false sense of security, but I don’t think so. He knows I could find another position and he brought up the end of the original rotation period, not that I only have to stay in this role until mid-June, which is the actual rule.”
F: “Do you trust him?”
M: “No, but he will have a hard time doing all of the work on his own and he can’t really do it with his current workload, which will continue to increase.”
F: “That’s a good position (to see if from). Start casting (quietly) to help defuse the tension overall, but not enough to cause her to withdraw her complaint(s). It needs documenting as a warning to others.”
Today, I took Foras’ advice and listened to his enn. While doing this, I built the energy into myself and then dispersed it into the work area where my team sits. This was specific to business creativity, but also had a helping of teamwork to help cement that. I did this for a while, with some extra time I had between meetings. I did it until I could feel it in the furniture we would all sit in for our day-to-day work.
After typing this, he informed me that we were done. Hail Foras!
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