Me: “I’ve missed you, Marbas”
M: “It has been a while. You haven’t needed me.”
Me: “I do miss my pendant for you I carried in my wallet.”
M: “You didn’t need it anymore. Not like before. You will find that I come when needed. You had Leviathan.”
Me: “I did. He released me from service.”
M: “I know. (He’s) still around, still watching. As do we all who take an interest.”
Me: “I thank you for that.”
M: “Dream work tonight . Secrets tomorrow.”
Me: “Yes, Lord Marbas.”
M: “Good. Secrets. Secrets. Secrets. You keep quite a few.”
Me: “I do.”
M: “Some for others. Some for yourself.”
Me: “Plenty of both, but mostly secrets for others.”
M: “Good. But is that true? Are not a lot of your Occult experiences secrets as well? Are they not hidden from others?”
Me: “I’d like to think there’s almost a balance of sorts. I share some things, just not with the public. They would be bored with some and the fragments need put together over time.”
M: “Which makes them secrets. (I shrugged, not sure where this was going). You know we (spirits) keep secrets. (I nodded). Is that a bad thing?”
Me: “Hard to know without knowing them.”
M: “We are done.”
(But we weren’t.
He shook my hand, pressed a seal into it, and a line ran from my palm, up my arm, to my chest. (No idea.) Then to my heart. And then down to the other palm. From the right palm to the heart was white. From the heart to my left palm, it was black. (I still don’t know why or what this meant)
(The exercise for today is investigating what’s holding somebody back from healing old events completely.)
I’ve done quite a bit of thinking in the past about what’s holding me back from healing old events completely. One is that those lessons have served us since. There are other reasons, too, all valid.
In my case some of these lessons have saved my life. Some are tied to skills that have proved useful over the years. There’s usually a point when it becomes more of a burden than a benefit. Sometimes the balance changes and what’s served us no longer does. That can be hard to face.
Sometimes our identities are tied up in those moments from the past. It can be daunting to set that part aside when it makes a substantial part of who we are as people. That creates uncertainty and haralds a lack of stability for our Self – which is why it gets put aside for some later day.
I’ve tried to face these issues in all of their forms over the years. I’ve been quite successful. I’ve also been aware that there are still A LOT to do. It’s a process -not an event.
Some magicians will have a really hard time healing things over if they rely on that trauma for fuel. It can create a dependency on reliving that trauma or variations of it to continue to feel “powerful”. It is something for them to think about. I’ve been giving ways around it for years and my own healing had a lot to do with that.
I’m not a prophet or a sage. I’m just looking to help heal myself while being able to use Magic.
He had me turn up the fan blowing fumes out before I could call him. He was being quite Fatherly and gentle. I could feel his hand on my shoulder patting it (in a way, not literally). Gentleness isn’t unknown with many of these spirits listed as Goetics. I have years with some and sometimes that matters.
I had to pause do something and when I returned I completely forgot what I was going to convey. I know it’s been a long day with multiple rituals. I know I’ve only slept 4-5 hours the past several nights.
Me: “I’m sorry Marbas I forgotten. I must start over with the work for the day”.
M: “Maybe that’s the real lesson. (He put his hand on my shoulder) Get some sleep. You’re doing well (overall, real life included).”
He knew a good friend of mine said the same thing less than an hour ago.
I remembered the next day whatt Marbas and I had talked about and it involved acting more like a God than a person just making a request to a spirit (to keep it simple). Many magicians assume that they have command. This is frequently because of the system that they’re working in. What they may not know is what happens outside the system that they’re using. Some of them don’t have the same authority then they once did, because they aren’t using the same framework for those same type of spirits.
This was a scrying session.
The same prairie as before. The same fire. Marbas is to my right. We’re on the same overlook as last time. He gestures to the fire which is coming closer.
M: “Do you know what the fire is?”
Me: “Cleansing, the chance of rebirth, new growth.”
He nodded and sent me back. Whatever the fire represents is coming closer.
Hawaii and its volcanoes? May be the location, but not that by itself.
The fire is some thing, some event, or a series of them. If a fire is hot enough, one may not feel much comparatively as one is burnt. The fire being a prairie fire seems more that this isn’t the case. Could be environmental and there isn’t much I can do when options run out (for that). Not sure. Environment feels more right than me being the direct or singular cause. Me being caught up in it isn’t an accident.
Marbas: “Shall we begin? Let me dictate
The poison path has many (paths) – some direct, some indirect. Some by argument, by doctrine, by necessity.
Yours is both, all, and none. You must heal from those poisons you take within – whether physical mental or spiritual. The modality is less relevant than the removal.
But what does that mean?
For to remove a poison too quickly means a tolerance never develops. Too late and the effects may overwhelm.”
M: “What is the answer?”
Me: “A combination of intuition and spiritual help (outside forces)?”
M: “Yes for most, for now, but until then.”
until then that’s where everyone is until they are advanced enough through skills and cultivation to not need it yet that may be more efficient still
M: “ah there you go we are done and we are where are you
definitely finding it more efficient when overwhelmed
M: “Good, good. Well done. We have work later (on in life).
Hail Marbas.
