“Lyan Ramec catya Zepar….Lyan Ramec catya Zepar…Lyan Ramec catya Zepar…”
Zepar: “Did it help? Was I not already here?”
M: “I did ask if I *should*”.
Z: “And I let you.” (Zepar was quite pleased with himself and, in a sense, with me. I knew it wouldn’t matter, but I was following a sort of respectful protocol, nonetheless.)
Z: “And you did so quite well.” (I chuckled). “You are a bit different at times. We have history.” (I went to type and he interrupted) “No, not like that.” (I nodded.”
Z: “You’ve recently had a relationship suddenly turn beneficial.”
M: “I have. I think. I hope.” (I could sense a sort of smile, but it gave nothing away – literally)
Z: “Good. You know you’ve had relationships (with entities) sour and come around. Those came around because you were following what you should be doing. I trust that will continue. “
Z: “You just took a prolonged pause to upload a video.”
M: “I did, after being waived to do so AND you knowing my mind would fixate on it.”
Z: “That IS true. I did know that. But, what harm did it cause?” (I didn’t say anything).
Z: “You diverted an issue tonight with your wife where she wasn’t going to be happy with anything and rightfully saw it was due to fatigue.” (I did)
Z: “And what did you do?”
M: “There wasn’t a direct confrontation, but that was because I knew she needed ammo. I knew she also needs sleep and that’s hard to come by on these air mattresses while we wait for our household goods to come….”
Z: “But you would’ve fought with her, taken up resistance?”
M: “Of course. ‘Happy Wife Happy Life’ only goes so far. I can and have shown I can do things on my own. I pick fights when she’s SO frustrated she’s going after our son, and this has happened many times. Will likely happen again. I will not bow down meekly, but won’t stand in the way when it isn’t necessary.”
Z: “You had a much longer and larger paragraph typed in response.” (he was quite a mused)
M: “Did I not hit the important parts? I’m an analyst that has to document, but that doesn’t mean that is needed here. Someone will read all of this.” (Zepar smiled and left)
Today, I’m supposed to freewrite about what I’d like to change, encourage, or stop doing in my relationships. Lol, like I have that kind of time at 1630 on a Friday….
I’m torn between two different areas. I’m typically the one who gets the lesser end of the stick in these areas (thinking in-person relationships here). Why? Because my “requirements” can’t largely only be met by myself. I pretty self-sufficient and this is something I’ve worked on here and there in the past. I don’t normally need to ask for help, but frequently accept it if I think the other person need to feel there’s more a balance in our interactions (thinking online friends here). This can make it hard for others to “pay” any sort of “debt” they feel towards me. I genuinely feel bad about that sometimes. Paying it forward is good enough for me, typically. Unless it’s an ACTUAL debt, as in money or goods.
Getting help while growing up came with obligations held over one’s head long after the “debt” was paid. Shitty people are shitty people, but lessons like that when young can mean there are issues from then on with that topic. Hard to say how much of it is introversion and how much is not wanting to have a debt hanging over my head.
I don’t really know what to say here. My family is more than simply functional. My life is in order.
Between all of the conflict resolution and soul searching, I’m wondering why I felt inclined to do this book. It’s Week 16 and I feel like we’ve spend the past four months largely trying to right lives that are wrecks. I mean, that has its place. My has been before, when I was much younger. I hope the book moves into territory I find more useful soon, to be honest.
I didn’t have anything in mind when I read about the first invocation with Zepar, but there’s been a…foul mood…in the house lately. This normally get shrugged off and isn’t frequent, but it has been lately. There’s still a lot of moving stress and we’re still down to one car, which is adding to that. It’s easier to complain than rent a car or take a rideshare. The person that’s going to turn the car in for us went on vacation for a month and just got back, so that should resolve itself in the next 3-4 weeks.
The options for the invocation were to either make a happy relationship better or bring someone that is a good partner for you. Not exactly a lot of leeway there. Instead, I asked Zepar to help smooth these moving pains over and reduce the atypical behaviors going on. There are things I won’t put up with for prolonged periods of time. While I could cast and smooth everything over, I felt I could just as easily get a good or better resolution with Zepar’s insight and abilities.
This smoothed over the next day and have been going well since. Whatever the “funk” was, it is gone. This does make me wonder why it had appeared and whether it was sent, but it doesn’t seemed to have returned in any way. My son’s attitude has also improved, so this seems like a total win for me, thanks to Zepar. He indicated we were done today. I lit two sticks of incense for him as a thank you.
He did show that there were ways to use his sigil, a color associated with something (say, pink for budding love) and that could be projected onto someone, but I don’t have time to develop it out into a formalized ritual. I would be really hard pressed to find some good use cases for this ritual, since things are back to normal here and I’m the faithful sort.
Hail Zepar!
