My second night without my typical night time cocktail. Asleep by 2300, woke up around 0230, which is also typical. Laid there for quite a while and considered making some chamomile tea, but fell asleep after a long while. I didn’t look at the clock. Between that time and 0630, I had an odd dream that I immediately wanted to get back into, but didn’t know why. I was almost driven to, yet it was interesting, exciting even, and I didn’t know how I was going to go back to sleep.
I was an unseen entity, clothed and appearing to myself in black with with a black aura of sorts, but this was due to my purpose, not my energies, which didn’t really make sense. I was inside a large, very large, old school cathedral. Not hundreds of years old, but with overly large, sweeping archways with a lot of stained glass that was letting in light at various points and at different levels. These ceilings had to be four or five stories tall. I actually didn’t get a good look from the inner roof to the floor.
I was standing on a support beam, unnoticed. I didn’t know why I was there exactly. I felt I should be there and was. There was a religious procession happening for some ceremony. It was spiritual for the people involved, but it didn’t really have a lot of hard power. I wasn’t interested and wasn’t afraid. Then I saw her.
There was a girl (to my eyes) between 18-20 that wanted desperately to feel like she belonged in that procession and could have the same spiritual experience that the others were having. There was nothing overly different about her. She wasn’t abused or broken. She had a tough upbringing in a somewhat strict home life of a more fundamentalist Christian family, but she didn’t mind, really. It gave her a sense duty and belonging in that family unit whose mother was present somewhere, but never seen by me that I recall.
And this duty and belonging was what I would take from her. It wasn’t predatory in the typical sense. There WAS a reason for this and it involved her growth into becoming what she never would without this happening. Everything was consensual and she was absolutely in love with the spirit I was portraying. I knew she would become pregnant. She knew before anything happened she would, too. I didn’t see this act or any of the others, but was residing in the head of this spirit.
The church found out immediately, somehow, and this started many times I was sensed and had to leave to remove their vigilant searching. This happened many times, since they knew she was pregnant, knew I was going to look after her, and she could sense me immediately and this sometimes gave my position away. Several times, they found some militant spiritual groups that could actually lob spells and show my presence from the ground floor, but they couldn’t capture my. Ironically, I couldn’t break the stained glass windows or go through them when being chased like this. I’d have large, dark wings, and sometimes they’d work better than others, for some unknown reasons. Sometimes I didn’t need them. It was inconsistent.
Naturally, this would cause some issues at home, when I was largely invisible and only my desire or a “holy” person could reveal me in a very narrow area they had to be in. But she wasn’t left alone. I would visit her and she would welcome these visits. I had a duty to her, to look after her and the child she was carrying in her womb. It wasn’t just a sexual relationship like an incubus or parasite. I was bonded to her and I knew I would be if I had chosen to cause this pregnancy. I watched over time, over a years-long pregnancy without complications, as she became a young woman ready to become a mother. I could feel myself being really satisfied and hopeful at watching these transformation points.
There were conflicts with the family, especially the father. He couldn’t “bless” this unholy union, but didn’t have the power to send me away. The priests, the police, anyone that came would be too late. I wasn’t present all the time and didn’t need to be. I would turn invisible and fly off to reduce the conflict in the house. I distinctly remember that I would materialize in her room to quietly spend time with her.
While this seems like some sort of dark spirit romance, I knew I wasn’t in love with her. She knew I wasn’t and that didn’t matter because she knew I was going to take care of her and that this was why, in some wayI still don’t understand, that she didn’t fit in with her church from birth.
And I did take care of her. I manifested money in offshore accounts that would get wired to her father as some sort of farm grant that desperately needed to not have to worry about money for a while. I moved a tornado our of the path of their farm house and away from their neighbors as it came over the hill inexplicably towards them. More money for the family when the car broke down, when they really wanted to go on a simply vacation, when there were medical bills, etc… College scholarships for the other kids in the household as they grew up. I had made a vow to her and she was taking care of her father. Therefore, so was I.
I don’t recall interacting extensively with the child, which is an odd thing to say with a child of my own, but this wasn’t “me”. I had and even 12 hours+ later, I recall a few scenarios where I was. It wasn’t the focus of the experience. The child knew they were special, knew I was the father, and that was perfectly normal.
I said there was a test. A lot of these scenarios were really stressful. I had to weight the “mission” with the needs of the lovely gal, her family, her church, the child, make decisions to stay or flee, but fighting openly as this sort of dark angel had to be for a very good goddamn reason. My actions were always being scrutinized. By who or what, I don’t know. But this was one group of MANY. They typical angels, like Michael, were sometimes present and conflicts would be resolved usually peacefully. There was simply no reason to fight when both of us could accomplish what we needed to in a way without it, however it looked to the church people or any other group that decided to come looking.
This mirrors an opinion I’ve been leaning towards where these different paradigms seem to overlap the same space, but can be independent of each other. I’m not looking to get into it here, it’ll take a while, but it has to do with the things that absolutely work in one system, but aren’t needed in another established system or are even refuted. This dream isn’t in support of this opinion. I just noticed it was happening with the conflict resolution especially and there were times of cooperation that shouldn’t have been happening in the same vein.
At particularly stressful points for me, I would be brought back to that first scene and be watching it in third person (before the pregnancy) and asked if I wanted to change anything. Would I rather wait to being this duty for some other time? Would a longer “romance” be appropriate? Would I rather come as a guardian angel instead of in a “mate” function? There were a couple of other scenarios where I would be brought back to the start of them and I would be asked if I’d like to change anything. I typically didn’t and part of their reason for asking this is because some of these longer (days sometimes) pursuits would mean I was away from the very woman I was supposed to be protecting. That was part of the calculation with most of the things I did from then on. The only exception to this was when I was supposed to help someone else, as these paradigm entities often helped each other to reduce everyone’s load and increase successful…lives(?) for those we had a duty to.
I dawned on my around noon, so 7.5 hours ago that I had seen this scenario somewhere. The Immortal Fox tales and lore. Some foxes appear as human, lead human lives, take on families to watch over, become a part of in either fox or human form. They are, according to the lore I’ve read, here to help individuals that are “worthy” of moving onwards ( to another round of testing elsewhere) do so. I’m not going to speak of any specific school here, but there is a lot of public information about this sort of thing happening.
This information is probably the only time I’ve ever heard of another theory I have, because I’ve been led to it and can see the mechanism, but not past it – yet. This world/universe/everything is a drop in another, which is a drop in another. Seems simplistic, but these aren’t just moving to another system to do more of the same. It’s a way to continue growth, not just as a person, but potentially as something more like a God or Immortal. I’ve mentioned it for years, but hadn’t seen it anywhere else.
Is this dream saying I’m going to join the Foxes to do this sort of thing? Not necessarily. There are other groups, I’m told, than the Foxes, who have a specific mission to perform here before moving on. But it was a GIFT. I was seeing the scenario from their side. Actually living it for decades in this short span of several hours. From 18 until she was passing away. I don’t know if she was my last, but it felt I had done well enough that she was and I was waiting to bring her into my world when she finally did pass. I didn’t see the end scene, which was really moving and a reflection of everything that had been done for her and for me. I benefited, too, in ways I understand, but more I don’t.
I had considered their point of view as I read about some of the beliefs of some of the Fox schools, but it wasn’t “real” and, I suppose one could chuckle and say it still isn’t. I really hadn’t understood their point of view, the duty when you find someone worth helping advance beyond “normal” reincarnation or some similar mechanism. Weighing the odds of different outcomes in split seconds to try to see which will keep their progress moving forward as a spirit. The entire experience, even if a dream, was…incredible. I’m very thankful to have had it.
