26AUG24
I performed Rite 1. Admittedly, I forgot to do the sigil before the visualization of the crossroad and restarted it to get that in. The visualization wasn’t bad. Certainly relevant. I, personally, have a tendency to be so concerned with the execution of those that I can get hung up on the details of these guided visualizations. It can take away from my experience and this is absolutely a ME problem.
I noticed that the sigil he included looked like it had been brush painted. I recognized this because of the strokes and have seen my own Chinese talisman and ritual calligraphy look similar at times. It REALLY made me want to break out my non-consecrated set and start grinding ink, but that would’ve added a lot of time to it. I also have premade ink from Amazon, but realized that even if I used that it would take a while for the ink to dry fully and the ritual to start. Since I was doing this at Dusk, I only had less than 30 minutes. So, I used an ink pen.
There was one part of the ritual that I didn’t quite like and felt uncomfortable with. There’s a point where you do a few things and the intent it to encompass Hekate as she has encompassed me. Being a heavy evocationalist and mainly an energetic practitioner, this seemed…unlikely. I don’t want to say improper, inappropriate, or disrespectful, because the intent isn’t that way. My version of the word “encompass” based on my experiences made this feel…uncomfortable. Did I do it? Yes. Because the system uses it. I’m hoping it will make more sense as the days go on, because that’s woefully inadequate to actually do that. I know, I know, I’m overanalyzing…
I did go to blood this sigil before burning it but felt a sort of pressure to “stop” before I did it. I don’t really know why. It wasn’t appropriate for some reason, despite the numerous other times I have for her.
I didn’t have many other sensations worth noting. I will say that despite clearly being there, she was more watching, feeling distant, than feeling more present. There wasn’t much for her to do, right? But if one pays attention, you may find her in “hover mode” in a way, watching over, giving guidance or encouragement where needed.
I’m preparing to do Rite 2 later tonight and I’m being reminded of our initial meetings in what seems like SO long ago. Worship is not what she asked of me. It wasn’t what she wanted. I’d be lying if I said I wouldn’t have given it. Service is simpler when all you have to do is worship. I’d be lying if I said part of me doesn’t still want to. But the other part thinks of all of the other lessons and relationships I have been given that would have to be ignored, reduced, or not obtained the same way that SHE – Hekate – sent me to go learn and this vastly outweighs that smaller part that still would.
Who doesn’t sometimes wish for a simpler lifestyle – whether Occult or not? Supposedly some day. Guess we’ll see. For now? Rite 2 tonight.
