As I continue to dig deeper into my practice and where it’s leading, I’m continuing to be shown or given different scenarios that are moving me outside of my comfort zone in unusual ways. Simplistic ways that one would think wouldn’t bother me at all. Overt hostility doesn’t bother me as much as some of the more subtle, nonapparent means. Here are a few that have happened in the past few weeks alone…
The “child” of a landspirit I have worked with for years showed up out of the blue and demanded some offerings from me. At first, I didn’t see the connection between this spirit and his “father”. I felt a recognition and left it at that. I was in the middle of gaming at the time and didn’t take kindly to being barged in on with demands. The scene was a bit more tense when he realized how I typically deal with landspirits (or all stripes) that do this sort of thing and then act on their threats. But I had that nagging feeling that I shouldn’t do that in this instance. His father came as I was about to banish him from my space.
That nagging feeling was what bothered me. I knew there was a connection of sorts, but it was deliberately hidden and I was about to make a mistake by not uncovering it. I can say that I had had a bottle of wine, but not that that was the reason I wasn’t going to look into it. I had gotten lax with looking into spirits in the area because there are SO MANY here on Oahu that I have to ignore most or I’d be overwhelmed. I was still lax and this lesson was valuable.
Not long after that, I was doing some reading about the Hierophant line I’ve started (Josephine McCarthy – archive.org link here). A spirit came through from the area known as the Abyss, despite me not traveling there. The Abyss in Josephine’s work is a useful construct for those using visionary magic. There are plenty of other ways to get to this all-encompassing place with different ritual styles and I’ve done many. While some paradigms choose to define it with very distinct boundaries, I don’t believe this to be the case anymore. It is useful when starting out to shift the mind and energies towards that subset when first starting out. I’ve not subscribed to this for several years now, but won’t hesitate to use those paradigms when using rituals steeped in it that I don’t have a better ritual for. An example of this would be the cutting of the Veil in the Shadownomicon. Nice ritual and I’ve done it enough that things start to move and shift before I start it – which is useful. Not needed now, but useful. Sorry, got side-tracked.
I was also reading McCarthy’s Exorcist’s Handbook (no free, trustworthy pubic link available). I was reading more than normal because I was feeling myself becoming sick. Several in the office had been recently and we were passing it around with the jackassy open office architecture management with actual offices love to force on their employees. I switched over to a non-Occult book for a while before going to bed.
As I was drifting off to sleep, I felt an entity in my room. It wasn’t hostile or evil, but wasn’t invited, either. I knew it wasn’t there on behalf of one of my usual Deities I work with. I could also feel the scent/signature of the Abyss on it. It wanted to be noticed and knew that if it didn’t misbehave, I wouldn’t destroy or subjugate it outright. I told it I would speak with it the next day. Illness hit overnight (I was throwing up at 0100), but I did call the entity up, having already felt it was close.
And that visit was the point. I had been thinking of expanding some of my Occult pursuits (personal) into some areas that are more service based with entity removal and land remediation. It will happen, as there is a lor of work needed here on Oahu alone that I’ve known for over a year I will have to help heal. In there areas, the land is infested with more darker entities and energies than it can overcome and help is needed. While I know I will be partnering with land spirits from across the island(s) to work on it, I was going to move into some of the more deeply lodged entities now. I was warned off of it. This was on Tuesday-Wednesday. I was largely recovered, but not 100% by Friday.
Didn’t make much sense until I went to work this week and came down Monday with an even worse illness that has since taken out most of the office that week. I would’ve been kicking the bee hive without knowing I was going to come down again with the worse version of what’s going around. I was out more than in this week. I was still doing petitions and similar to make events happen or try to sway those that are, but that wasn’t what I was contemplating doing.
Wednesday night this week, I woke up around 2330 to find Hel standing beside my bed, just a few feet away. If I didn’t work with her periodically, I would’ve been concerned, but she comes around frequently. She was sort of standing guard, though. That threw me off a little, but she told me to go back to sleep. She was making a statement of sorts, was what I remember, as she was standing between the bed and the bedroom hallway. No visible attendants or similar. She was gone when I woke up again around 0200.
She hasn’t said why since then and I don’t really feel the need to try to get it out of her. I had originally thought it had something to do with the Dead hanging around the area. They’ve had that permission for years, so long as they follow the House Rules. Instinctively, I knew this wasn’t the case. Not sure what non-superficial lesson there is to learn from this one. But I’m always thankful for protection.
Nothing earth shattering, but these are a few instances just within the past few weeks that kind of indicate what’s been going on. There are other things, but there isn’t time for all that. Most aren’t written down or are too personal (whether intimately personal or safety related). Having all of the Dead vanish for several weeks without reason comes to mind. Having most of my ritual space feel energized in a way that I can’t feel the energies of my idols. Having some of my idols deactivate as they aren’t needed at the moment. Those sorts of things. Things you don’t necessarily get answers for. And probably never will.
